Ask Pat

This is a very serious concern and it is good that you are asking about it and exploring your confusion. Sexual orientation is a very complicated issue and many people struggle with it at various times in their lives. It is clear that you have some confusion and concerns around this issue and you will probably want to find a professional to talk to about this - there are many community agencies that can help with payment. The concern you share about being attracted to someone of the same gender is very common. This does not necessarily mean that you are gay. It does however signal that you may be gay or bisexual. It is very difficult to determine whether or not you are gay or bisexual without further assessment and counseling. It does appear that your feelings are somewhat "ego-dystonic" which means that your attraction to men goes against something inside you that is saying this is wrong. This feeling may come from society, your family, your religion or your own fears of being in a same-sex relationship. Unfortunately, there is no easy way to know if you are gay, bisexual, heterosexual or just curious about all of it - given your lack of experience with sex. Again, I highly recommend that you find some professional person (not usually clergy) to discuss this further; it is simply too important not to!

Thanks for taking the time to ask this question. Numerous students, at some point in their development, experience uncontrollable crying. Most of the times, barring other symptoms, it seems to indicate a general sense of not being satisfied with how things are going in their life (even if, on the surface, everything seems to be going well). Taking time to examine one's goals, current relationships, aspirations, and self-concept may help you get in touch with an issue or series of issues that need to be addressed. There is always a reason why one cries! Making a list of where you had expected to be at this point in your development may also help you identify areas where you, subconsciously, may feel you have not "measured up." Finally, it is also not uncommon for us to set goals which we think will bring forth satisfaction only to find out that, upon reaching said goals, we are still feeling a bit empty. This may be a time for you to set aside some "thinking time" to determine the direction in which you want to go: for your career, intimate relationships, family relationships, education, etc. I hope this sheds some light on this issue. If the crying persists, I suggest you come to the University Counseling Center (491-6053) to talk to a counselor about this. I hope the crying stops before finals!

I certainly appreciate your concern. It would be helpful to know what kinds of thoughts you are having. Are you concerned that you are going to do something harmful toward your children? Are your thoughts and negativity getting in the way of your relationships with people? Negative thoughts are harmful to ourselves as well. We feel badly about having them. Obviously this is bothering you and you would like to get some help for it. It could be that you are going through a particularly stressful time and could use some support in your life. You may be experiencing some depression. It is impossible to know with so little information. In the best interest of yourself and your children it would be most helpful for you to talk to a counselor to get an assessment of what is going on and to get ideas about how to improve things. If you are currently enrolled as a CSU student, come to the University Counseling Center at C-36 Clark, or call us at 491-6053. Otherwise, start by calling the Larimer Center for Mental Health at 221-2114.

Psychologists response: I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing fears about things being wrong with you. This must be an extremely difficult time. One thing I believe that can help to alleviate fears is to gather information about the things that are concerning you. It sounds as if a medical check up and asking your doctor some questions might be useful at this point. Your healthcare provider will be able to tell you how to get tested for HIV, how to reduce your risk of yeast infections, etc. It is not unusual to have fears about certain things as you go through life. The problem arises if the fears prevent you from being able to function on a daily basis. If your fears are preventing you from being able to do your daily routine, I would recommend coming into the Counseling Center and talking to someone in confidence. A counselor will be able to listen to your concerns and the two of you can work together to figure out a good course of action. If your fears are directly related to your relationship and intimacy, and your partner is receptive, it might be helpful to try couple's counseling so that you and your partner can address your fears. Communicating and being able to ask for reassurance may help both of you to strengthen your relationship. Gynecologists response: First of all, HIV is most accurately tested through either a saliva or blood sample, which are the two most common means of testing at this point in time. With regard to anxiety about STDs, I think to some degree a certain level of anxiety after having contracted an STD is fairly common. Many individuals, both male and female, will react to this by worrying a bit excessively about seemingly even minor symptoms once an STD has been diagnosed. There are a couple of ways of overcoming this fear, one of which is to use protection in the form of a condom so that your risk of STDs would be minimized. Second, would be simple to abstain in the future from intercourse, which then should eliminate possible contacts. Thirdly, the other option would be to, if you have been tested for everything and treated appropriately, simple talk with a health care provider about what risks are real and what level of anxiety and worry would be appropriate. Fourth, definitely checking with the counseling center or talking with someone with experience in counseling about anxiety may be worth looking into. Many professionals can be helpful to you in this way, and you could avail yourself of whatever resources you can.

It sounds like you are struggling with a behavior that you would like to understand better and eventually decrease in your life. Self-mutilation is considered a strategy for getting relief from feelings and problems that are intense and are not relieved in other ways. Often people who self-mutilate have reasons for not choosing other ways to relieve pain and emotional stress such as: not having a safe environment to release emotions, having expressions of feelings ignored, denied or made fun of in the past, not having a model for how to release emotions in a healthier way, or observing others choosing self-mutilation as a way of expressing emotions. Self-harming behaviors can serve several roles. Self-mutilation can release feelings of euphoria, can be a way of physically expressing pain, can be a way to communicate, can reenact previous abuse, or can be a way to establish control in one's life. I can understand why it might be confusing for you to find that you cannot stop your self-harming behaviors. However, this is probably a pattern of dealing with problems and emotions that you have followed for quite some time. Changing these patterns of behavior and developing new ones to replace them is often more difficult than we might think. Your desire to go for counseling is healthy and a first step in changing this way of coping in your life. Many people fear that they will shock a therapist with their behaviors or be judged based on what they have done to themselves. Therapists are trained in dealing with these issues and have seen other clients with similar experiences. The therapist's role is not to judge you or force you to stop immediately but to help you to understand your own feelings and issues, how these feelings are related to your behaviors, and how to change your coping and self-harming behaviors to a healthier way of living. Self-harming is often very secretive, and this creates an obstacle for many people who are seeking support and help. Counseling is a safe place to divulge this secret and begin working on issues with the support of someone who can listen and understand without judgment. The University Counseling Center (491-6053) offers walk-in or scheduled appointments (5 appointments free, if you are a full-fee paying student) with therapists who can help you figure out what you need. There is no reason to feel stupid for taking a step that helps you to take care of yourself.

The MMPI is a psychological test that assesses how an individual thinks, feels, and acts both currently as well as in the past. Test takers notice that some of the questions tap what is going on in one's current situation while a number of questions survey earlier life experiences. Therefore, the MMPI is designed to reveal information about whether an individual is depressed now and/or has been depressed in the past. As you are aware, medication intervention is often used in conjunction with psychotherapy to treat depression. I am glad to hear that you have finally found a medication regimen that works for you. While no psychological test can claim to be "completely valid," your therapist will take into account the MMPI's track record of validity and reliability in trying to understand what your responses mean. Also, the qualified professional who reviews the test results with you will take into account your individual circumstances and experiences in interpreting those results. Since you indicated that your moods are quite changeable, perhaps even while you are on medication, I recommend you make note of your mood at the time you take the MMPI and your attitude toward the testing so that you can provide this helpful information to the professional who interprets your results. When you are reviewing the results, I encourage you to ask any questions you have and participate actively in trying to understand how the results might help you.

First, how long have you been on Serzone and symptom free? If you have been on Serzone for a year, symptom free, great. Start to slowly decreasing your medication 50mg/100mg every 2 weeks, depending on your dose. Do not stop "cold turkey!" If symptoms return restart or go back to the last dose you were on. If you do stop on your won please tell whoever started you on the medication so they know. This is very important.

Without seeing you to talk about your pas experience (i.e. medication you are on, or past psychological history) it is hard to tell. If nothing is wrong it's very unusual that this is happening. You might have a possible medical problem with lying on your back. You might have some type of post traumatic stress syndrome and it is linked to lying on your back. There are so many different possibilities, you should see a medical doctor or psychologist to discuss what is going on in your life in more depth.

You're not alone! When we have not felt loved and accepted it is often difficult to feel really good about ourselves and worthy of others' affection. This makes it hard to develop the kind of meaningful relationships we seek, and we sometimes settle for the temporary connection we experience during casual sex. You deserve more! By exploring the conclusions you drew about yourself as a child and replacing them with more accurate beliefs, you can develop the self-esteem you need to have the relationships you want. Check out the individual and group counseling available at the University Counseling Center. Although it's sometimes tough to make the first call for help, counseling can help you make the changes you want. Stop by the Counseling Center during business hours at C-36 Clark Building.

Your concern for your friend seems warranted, and it may matter less whether she is truly anorexic than it does whether her eating patterns and body image are causing her physical and emotional distress. Preoccupation with one's weight and restricting one's diet are certainly two common characteristics of people who are diagnosed with anorexia. Other characteristics of people with disordered eating are "purging", a behavior intended to work off, or get rid of calories consumed. Oftentimes, like restricting, these behaviors can look excessive. For example, a person who restricts may eat only a fraction of calories that an average, healthy adult would eat (e.g. eating an apple for dinner), and a person who purges may exercise excessively or use diuretics inappropriately to flush out the system. Usually people with such difficulties with eating, exercise, weight, and body image, have an intense fear of gaining weight or becoming fat. The fact that your friend doesn't look "extremely skinny" doesn't mean that she's not in some trouble with her eating and her perception of her body. Only a small percentage of people who struggle with a poor body image or disordered eating actually look emaciated, like the stereotypical person with anorexia might look. Again, the fact that you've noticed your friend's concern about her weight suggests that she is not easily able to hide her fears and concerns about food from others. The best way to help a friend who you think may have an eating disorder, negatively distorted body image, fear of becoming fat, or any other struggle with food is to express your concern about them in a caring and non-aggressive manner. Individuals who suffer from disordered eating can often be very protective about their behaviors. For them, such behavior is a real coping mechanism that helps them deal with the anxiety they have about their bodies and their relationship with food. Consequently, expressing concern and caring while providing your friend with information about how to get help if she chooses is the best route to take. Try not to fall into the trap of becoming your friend's therapist, diagnosing your friend to her, or feeling like you're responsible for her to change. You can stop by the University Counseling Center in the basement of the Clark Building (C-36) for some pamphlets on eating disorders and the services available at the counseling center. It may be helpful to give your friend some information that she can have and use on her own. You can also give her the Eating Disorders Awareness and Prevention Information and Referral number at 1-800-931-2237. Once you've expressed your concern to your friend and given her information, Pat would recommend that you let her make the next move about the issue.

Mood swings are not uncommon. Generally speaking, most people experience some fluctuation in mood on and off. Being "happy" all of the time is not realistic. However, being depressed all of the time is usually a symptom that there may be something more serious going on and it is a good idea to see a professional for an opinion. Mood swings can be normal reactions to everyday life. However, if they are rapid or severe, it is a good idea to get a medical and psychological check up. Mood swings can be symptoms of a variety of problems for which treatment is available. The Stress Management Program at the University Counseling Center is a good place to work on establishing a healthy response to stress in your life. The service is available to students on a walk in basis in the basement of the C wing of the Clark Building. It may be a good idea to get a formal evaluation of your situation and your symptoms. If you are interested, Pat recommends that you call the Counseling Center at 491-6053 or the Hartshorn Health Service at 491-7121 for an appointment.

Since you asked about classes in Fort Collins, Pat is not sure whether you are a CSU student or not. So, Pat did a bit or research to identify resources both on and off campus. On campus, the University Counseling Center typically offers anger management classes during fall and spring semesters. CSU staff and faculty are welcome at many of these sessions, or they may call 491-5900 to ask whether the Employee Assistance Program will be providing classes on this topic. To sign up for these workshops, please call 491-6053 to register ahead of time. There is no charge for participating in these classes. You may find descriptions of the Anger Management Workshop and the Managing Your Anger Workshop at the Counseling Center's Upcoming Events web site: http://www.counseling.colostate.edu/ccsevent.htm Off campus, the Hope Counseling Center (493-1157) provides classes on anger management for a fee. Veterans may be eligible for the free classes offered by the Vet Center (221-5176). Occasionally, the Larimer Center for Mental Health provides workshops for the public on topics such as anger management as well (in Fort Collins, 498-7610). Finally, you can check the online therapist referral service offered by Mental Health Connections: http://www.fortnet.org/TherapistReferral/ Try a "Therapy Group Search" and select anger management for a "Search by Group Criteria." Pat found one current listing for the type of class you requested.

It does sound as though you may be experiencing stress or perhaps some mild depression. Many of us have symptoms like these when we have a lot of things going on in our lives. Does it feel like you have more going on than you can handle? Are there things that are worrying you? Have you experienced some changes in your sleep patterns or appetite? These are the kinds of questions a counselor will ask to help determine the source of your concerns. Pat recommends that you stop by the University Counseling Center (C-36 Clark) or make an appointment (491-6053) to talk with one of the staff. There is always someone available during regular business hours. They can help you decide if counseling, training in stress management, or some other service will be useful. Don't wait - get help now so you can begin feeling like yourself again!

Both drugs are used to combat depression, so taking both would be a duplication of therapy. Also, a side effect of taking both is a condition known as "serotonin syndrome" a complication that is marked by mild to moderate motor symptoms, mental status changes, and autonomic symptoms (such as weakness, fever, nausea, confusion, and anxiety). Pat would recommend that you not take both medications at the same time.

It's very common for friends of those who are struggling to feel responsible for their care. However, it's your first year away at school and you are entitled to concentrate on taking care of yourself right now. Your friend needs professional counseling and a medical referral. Her suicidal thoughts sound pretty pervasive and intense, not to mention it seems things have been getting worse rather than better. If the mystery illness is a sexually transmitted disease, then it's unlikely to disappear merely because she's not talking about it. These things often get worse and the clinical judgment of a doctor is needed to ascertain the most appropriate treatment. Explore Planned Parenthood if confidentiality from her parents is of importance. Let your friend know you support her and love her AND that you believe she needs to ask for help. Her high school guidance counselor or psychologist is available and willing to listen. If she doesn't feel comfortable with them, then they can offer the names of local professionals with whom she could meet. Pat wishes you luck in this difficult situation. If you need anyone to talk to or if you have further concerns about your friend you can call the University Counseling Center at CSU at 491-6053.