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Stimulation means, "to excite to a heightened activity" (Webster). Sexual stimulation usually refers to the physical excitement males/ females experience. The stimulation may be direct, fondling, touching, stroking or indirect, thoughts, feelings etc. Stimulation may vary from person to person so it is good to explore and discover your own triggers and communicate them.

Oral sex usually refers to the mouth (oral) stimulation of the genitals of either a male or a female.

Your own word would be best. Communicate by telling your boyfriend or showing your boyfriend. Communication is critical to having a pleasurable sexual experience.

Thanks for your question! I suppose the larger issue has to do with whether this is emotionally, psychologically and interpersonally healthy. The questions we usually ask are: 1) Does the individual view this behavior as a problem? 2) Is it interfering with their lives in some way? Are there some negative consequences? 3) Is it interfering with the growth of healthy relationships, especially with one's partner? 4) Has the behavior become addictive and/or maladaptively used to deal with stress? 5) Are there spiritual or religious beliefs that play a role in the individual's perception of this behavior? Your question alludes to the issue that many couples struggle with; namely, does viewing pornography constitute "cheating" or being unfaithful. The answer to this lies within the relationship itself and the parties involved; in this case your parents. Some relationships tolerate this behavior and others don't. As this issue obviously bothers you, it may also bother your mother. Clearly however, it would be incumbent upon her to voice her concerns directly and consider individual and/or couples counseling if the issue was a serious one for her and wasn't being resolved. Likewise for your father, individual counseling may be an option if he views the behavior as problematic and he sees the need to stop viewing pornography. Clearly, this issue has many aspects to it that cannot be fully addressed in the context of this column. Ultimately, every one of us needs to search our hearts on this issue and decide how we will respond to the increasing proliferation of pornography in the society. Hope some of that helps you with your understanding.

First of all, please understand that most men in the world are not circumcised. This is not an abnormal situation. Secondly, what you will find is that in this country there has been a large number of folks choosing not to have their sons circumcised at birth. Many boys are, but many boys are not. So, again, consider this to be the normal way men are built. As far as what needs to be done differently; really, nothing. It should not bother either one of you. It is just the way people are. If either of you has concern further about this, please free to talk to a provider. But, I would certainly reassure you that most men in the world are not circumcised, and it is really a non-issue in terms of health or safety. Certainly, one of the arguments for circumcision has to do with cleanliness. I can assure you that cleanliness for circumcised or uncircumcised men should not be a problem in any way, shape, or form. So, what I think you should do it not worry about! Use condoms every time, that is a good idea because it does help prevent the spread of STDs from one person to another, as well as providing some birth control; you should do this whether he is circumcised or not. As far as I am concerned, there is really no difference either way. Please feel free to talk with your provider if you have further questions.

Well, certainly you need to understand what happens during the sexual arousal cycle for women. There is a certain amount of swelling that takes place, and the urethra is a tiny little collapsible tube, so with sexual arousal there is a fair amount of swelling right around the urethra. As you know, the opening to the urethra is between the clitoris and vagina, and it is often difficult for women to urinate during sexual arousal. You probably also know that it is difficult for men, if even possible, to urinate when they have an erection for the same reason. The other possibility is that you may be somewhat dehydrated and therefore you do not have enough urine in the bladder with which to urinate. However, I would suspect the previous explanation of swelling due to sexual arousal as the reason for this. If you have any further questions, please feel free to get a hold of your health care provider and ask, but I am not surprised that this is an issue for you because it is difficult for many women to urinate when the tissue is swollen.

To steal some terminology from the infamous Bill Clinton: It depends on what the meaning of "virginity" is. If we say a virgin is a woman who has not had sexual intercourse then "fingering" does not involve loss of virginity. However, if the definition is "uncontaminated, fresh, new," there may be some question.

Using the absolute definition of virgin - - man or woman who has not had sexual intercourse - - oral sex does not constitute loss of virginity.

This is a highly subjective question. Different people can describe a positive experience in so many different ways. If students are smart and practice a healthy life style, I believe that the pros of living in the dorms out weight the possible health risks. There are many way to prevent the negative physical and mental health risks that exist while living in the resident halls. The Hartshorn Health Center provides discounted meningitis vaccinations as well as many helpful hints about staying healthy. With a good group of friends or someone to talk to, depression can also be prevented or alleviated.

If you are looking for a running companion and an unconditional friend I would recommend the dog. Relationships are important, human and animal. The way to the roommate may be through the dog, or vice versa.

Most people would agree that asking another person out is one of the hardest things to do. By doing this you are letting yourself become vulnerable to rejection and that is a feeling that most people do not like. However, even knowing that it is a hard thing to do, Pat would recommend that you ask her out! The worst-case scenario is that she would say no, which can only hurt your pride. And without actually asking her you will never know if it could have worked out. As far as how to do it, Pat is sure that you have an idea of what she might like. For instance, it might be easier and less threatening for the both of you if you asked her to go out with a group of people. Another suggestion is to go to a movie and dinner afterwards you can always talk about the movie if you find that you don't have much to talk about. Whatever you do, though, just pick something that you think you will both have fun doing! Afterwards you may decide that she is not someone you want to be with, or you may end up in a long relationship. But however it ends, you will still have the satisfaction of knowing that you had the courage to go after something that you wanted.

Pat would agree that this is a problem! There are definitely people on campus that you can get counseling from. As a student you can get five free counseling sessions at the University Counseling Center on campus. Each additional visit after the first five costs $20. There is a $10 no show fee if you make an appointment and forget to show up. If you are interested in visiting the University Counseling Center, the phone number is 491-6053, and it is located in the basement of the Clark building C36. Also, you can make an appointment with a doctor at Hartshorn Health Service if you would like. The number you can call in that case is 491-7121.

First of all, Pat applauds you for "speaking up" to ask this question. Change is a process that often involves many steps. You have taken a first step by trying something new, by voicing your thoughts and opinions. Change is sometimes hard, not only for you but also for those who know you. It's frustrating and discouraging to be criticized rather than to be supported by your friends. If you want to change your passive habits, now is a good time to keep trying rather than to back down. Perhaps you might start by talking with a couple of trusted friends. Let them know what you are trying to change and why. Invite them to give you feedback about how you are coming across. Ask them to help you think of ways you might express your opinions and still show your interest in their opinions. To change from being passive to acting assertive without becoming aggressive you may need to learn more about assertiveness, to re-examine your beliefs, to gain new skills, or to have support and guidance while you practice new ways of communicating. In addition, you may need to learn how to respond effectively to others' reactions. If you want to learn more about assertiveness, Pat recommends that you read a book on the topic or participate in one of the Assertiveness Workshops offered by CSU's Counseling Center (http://www.counseling.colostate.edu/ccsevent.htm). For more specific suggestions or for individual or group counseling to help you make these changes, Pat recommends that you seek assistance at the University Counseling Center. Drop by the Counseling Center, Monday through Friday, between 9:00 AM and 4:00 PM to speak with one of the trained counselors.

Obviously, this girlfriend must have impacted your life since you are still missing her. Given that you have attempted to locate her without success and this continues to bother you, exploring what impact this woman had in your life might be useful in addressing the difficulty you are experiencing. Exploring what you gained from the relationship and where you were in your life at the time might help you better understand why you are so bothered by her absence. Counseling provides a good opportunity to explore these issues and this is something you may want to consider. If you are a currently enrolled CSU student, you may come to the University Counseling Center in C-36 Clark Building to speak with a counselor from 9 AM to 4 PM any weekday. The number to call if you would like to make an appointment is 491-6053. Good luck!

As you know, it is difficult to make someone do something that he/she doesn't want to do or feels very uncomfortable doing. In your case, you may want to write your boyfriend a letter presenting your concerns and asking for his feedback. If you feel comfortable, you may also want to tell him that you would prefer not doing anything together until you get his feedback. Since ongoing and open communication between partners is an essential component to a successful relationship, your boyfriend's resistance/hesitancy to deal with issues that pertain to your relationship may indicate ongoing problems that, given enough time, could eventually cause the termination of the relationship. The suggestion Pat mentioned above will give you a chance to "test the water" to see to what degree your boyfriend is committed to the relationship. Or, it could indicate the degree to which he may lack the necessary skills to relate to you on an adult level.