A woman is at a party and is very drunk. A man, whom she knows through a friend, has had a few drinks with her. He leads her into an unoccupied room in the house. They begin to make out and he feels as if she is responding to him. They have intercourse. He leaves her in the room, passed out, and returns to the party.
What is acquaintance rape?
Acquaintance rape is when someone you know forces you to have sexual intercourse against your will-whether you are passed out, too drunk to refuse, too scared to argue, or for some other reason do not give consent.
It victimizes women and men-whether straight, gay, lesbian, or bisexual.
Why does acquaintance rape occur?
There is not a good answer to why acquaintance rape occurs.
- "She had it coming to her." Rape is often about power and anger. Often, a person rapes to overpower or express anger at a woman-to get back at her.
- "We had sex before, only this time she said she didn't want to. Well, I did." Such a man may force sex to confirm his own idea of masculinity.
- Alcohol, sex, and rape. The risk for acquaintance rape is often higher when people are drinking since alcohol inhibits clear thinking, makes talking and listening more difficult, and can increase aggression. Alcohol also makes it harder to assess risk, which makes it more likely that a person may end up in a vulnerable situation.
Consenting sex requires sober, verbal communication without intimidation or threats. Many states' laws recognize that when someone is drunk they are unable to give true consent. Additionally, being drunk is never an excuse to rape someone.
What can you do?
- Trust your instincts. Even if you can't explain why, you have the right to trust your feelings and have them respected. Tell your partner what you want-or don't want-and stick with your decision.
- Listen carefully to what the other person is saying. Are you getting mixed messages? Do you understand him or her? If not, ask.
- Ask rather than assume. Be clear about your intentions and make sure your partner understands them. Be assertive.
- Remember, effective and assertive communication may not always work. Sometimes people simply don't listen. However, no matter how it may have happened...
- No one ever deserves to be raped!
Recovering from rape.
- What you can do immediately...
- Go to a safe place.
- Call someone you trust to be with you, like a rape crisis counselor or a friend.
- Seek care at Hartshorn Health Services or a hospital
- Consider reporting the assault.
You can also press charges...
- Call the local or campus police.
- Don't shower, bathe, or douche after the attack.
- Preserve other physical evidence, such as clothing.
- Remember that it was not your fault. Talking with a counselor can help you to understand your feelings.
- You don't have to go through this alone.
Resources
Hartshorn Health Services (970) 491-7121
CSU Victim Assistance Team (970) 491-7111
CSU Police Department (970) 491-6425
Fort Collins Sexual Violence/Rape Crisis
24-hour hotline 1-800-656-HOPE
This information has been adapted from information from the American College Health Association. It was prepared by the Task Force on Campus Violence and Human Dignity.